Turns out, whether or not you wear a helmet, that motherfucker is dangerous.
Go too slow, and the motor shuts off and you get rear ended by a pickup truck. Go too fast and the front wheel falls off and you crash, only to later be run over by a pickup truck.
I consider myself to be a good motor-scooterist based on the fact that I am still alive.
Riding a motor-scooter may get you where you want, but at a hefty cost. Even if you manage to survive it still isn’t a very pleasant experience. Imagine yourself on one of those shaking ponies outside of Wal-mart. Good. Now take away the pony and replace it with a 75 pound scrap of metal filled with explosive gasoline. Now that you’ve imagined that, let’s add a few factors to the equation:
* A constant stream of smoke coming from the exhaust pipe and blowing into your face. Which if inhaled for more than 5 minutes, increases your risk of cancer.
* No brakes. Whenever you see a stop sign, you must quickly jump off the scooter and pray it doesn’t blow up.
* Richter scale level vibrations. Increases your risk of falling off, but if that’s your sort of thing, ladies, you can always be one very aroused cancer patient.
* Mis-alligned handlebars. Whenever you want to go straight, you must hold the handlebars at a 65 degree angle. That proves hazardous on right turns when you accidentally stab yourself in the testicles.
* Sounds exactly like a chainsaw. Now I’m all for scaring little children as much as the next guy, but it isn’t as funny when you are the chainsaw.
But luckily for me, my days of reliance on “The Death Machine” are over. The next big challenge in my driving life, is mastering the automobile.
Cars also present a constant sense of danger, but at least you can be dangerous in style.
Yes, that’s right folks, I am in possession of a genuine 1994 Ford Wind-star. What makes it even better? My grandmother gave me a great deal on it
4 comments:
dude, all props to you and your van, but before you come back with an absent minded insult to prove me wrong, go out and check the name on that fucking van of yours, and dont ever call a FORD windstar a chevy again. and if there was something behind that, because you knew that you said that, and i highly doubt it then i missed it.
Dude, I have no idea what you're talking about. The article clearly says "Ford Wind-star".
And I swear that I didn't just edit the post after I read your comment.
i am lovin the pic good look for u
and the car is a definite chick magnet maybe not all of them but at least the irish ones
touch me in the danger zone alex
i want you inside me
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